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  • Writer's pictureDamien Warren-Smith

A Crocodile Ate My Smartphone

Another day, another theatre! This weekend I’ve been at the Darwin Entertainment Centre playing my solo show Garry Starr Performs Everything for the wonderful humans (no crocodiles) of the Northern Territory. Darwin audiences are bloody fabulous! A few lovely people came to both the Friday and Saturday night show, returning with friends and family members, and a good chunk returned having seen my other show Garry Starr: Greece Lightning at Browns Mart (another great Darwin venue) back in April 2022. The fact the audience doubled in size by the second night reminded me how much this show feeds on word-of-mouth.

A little over a week ago I sustained a back injury while doing a HIIT class but I’m pleased to say I am well and truly on the mend. Those at the Darwin shows may have noticed some crop-circle-esque bruising on my lower back but rest assured those were leftover from a treatment known as cupping (see image below). It’s a very strange sensation and I have no idea whether it was effective or not, but I'm back to throwing myself around on stage for the amusement of others nonetheless.

On another note, I’ve been touring without a smartphone now for around 8 months and I’ve gotta say, I’m getting much better at adjusting to this new/old way of living. It’s only February and I’m already six novels down, whereas I hardly touched a book before making the switch. I’m also writing a lot more (hence this first ever blog post!). I’m using physical maps to find my way around, asking for cafe recommendations from strangers, and becoming an expert at mindwandering. I mostly get taxis rather than Ubers although this wasn’t possible in Auckland where no taxi would take me because I wasn’t travelling far enough. I had to get my laptop out, connect to the airport wifi and order an Uber. When I first ditched my iPhone and switched to a Lightphone II (see pic below) I became acutely aware of how hostile the world has become to luddites such as myself; I actually had a West End theatre box office refuse to print me a ticket and tell me to go find an internet cafe to print my own! But generally speaking it hasn’t been as difficult as I predicted.

Next stop Adelaide for a weekend of shows then on to NZ for the Hamilton Arts Festival. What a bloody great little tour my manager Milke has put together. Keep your eye out for a very special sketch I filmed recently which will be appearing online in the coming week!

And remember what Friederich Nietzsche said:

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a Garry Starr.”

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